. . SIFAR . .

Nahi rakhta dil mein kuch,
Rakhta hoon zubaan par,
samjhe na apne bhi kabhi.
Keh nahi sakta main kya,
sahtaa hoon chhupa kar,
Ek aesi aadat hai meri.
Sabhi to hain jinse milta hoon,
Sahi jo hai inse kahta hoon,
Jo samajhta hoon.
maine dekha nahi rang dil aaya hai sirf adaa par,
Ek aesi chahat hai meri.
Baharon ke ghere se laaya main dil sajaa kar.
Ek aesi sohbat hai meri.
Saye mein chaye rehta hu
Aankein bichaye rehta hu
Jinse milta hu
kitno ko dekha hain hamne yaha
kuch sikha hain hamne unse naya

Pehle phursat thi ab hasratein samakar
Ek aaisi uljhan hain meri
Khud chalkar rukta hu jaha jis jagah par
Ek aaisi sarhad hain meri
Kehne se bhi main darta hoon
Apno ki dhun mein rahta hoon
Kar kya sakta Hoon
De sakta hoon main thoda pyar yahan par,
Jitni haisiyat hai meri.
Reh jaaun sabke dil mein dil ko basakar
Ek aaisi niyat hain meri
Ho jaye to bhi razi hoon.
Kho jaau to main baaki hoon.
Yun samajhta hoon.

Raste na badle na badla jahan,
Phir kyon badalte kadam hain yahan ...

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So u people might be thinking ... why the hell is this famous song of Lucky Ali is copied down here.... 

let me tell u ... this song is one of mi fav. n its kinda resembles with my life, whats' happening inside of me ...how m a trying to fight with my own self. It goes well with my nature, my thinking. I do wish sometimes I can tell u how do  feel, my wishes, my desires, my beliefs and skepticisms, but I'm afraid to do so as I don't think someone might have any interest in me. I still feel somehow incomplete within myself as m not the one "they" have wished.I know I don't have any boundations on me but still I feel these shackles clenching me in their grip. My heart is still pure and white for my bonhomies, and i want them to love me as I do. I want them to be crystal clear with me and so m I with them.

It also tells about people around me ...my family, my friends & everyone out there; they are all mine, still there is an emptiness, a hollow space between us. A lack of communication & understanding. I'm trying to fly out my miseries irrespective of thinking about once, what I gained n lost in these many years of my life.I have nothing to offer but my love, affection and service to pursue them. What I need is just " Love and Remembrance". Least I can do is just hope to fulfill everyone's wish n get out this scum of my mental inhibition.

But still i know, I'm what I'm , I can't change my true self now & I can't help it. Apologies.

Sometimes I feel like a "SIFAR" , a "Zero";  containing nothing, encircling everything.Without a beginning, without an end, stretching from emptiness to infinity and back again".

HELP ME .. I'm Dying Every Moment !!

Regards . .